Emo-ing In Progress

Its 5.40am right now. I just finish puking out my gastric juice. Just started to feel emo today and I couldn't sleep because there are a lot stuff that need to be think in my head. I have no idea what's the main reason that is upsetting me right now because I have too much problems to think about. I have been hiding this part of me since last 2 months. I'm trying my best to lie myself to go through this without feeling this way. But I failed. Seriously a lot things whether you like in a not just happen. I just wanna hide in the corner and cry right now. I know after I do, It will not change the fact or anything but I really feel burden up. I feel like talking it out but who can really understand how I really feel?
Its like everything happening at the same time. How to handle???

My BFF and Very Good Friends:
My heart is aching for some reason.
Guess I'm still thinking bout the pass. I miss my old life with all my friends there with me.
Its really depressing when someone just leave you without giving any warning.
I remember when Babe left me all by myself, I was so freaking depress I almost lose it, and before that, a group of Seniors A.K.A my Ah Kors which I was really close to just graduated and left the place. Not knowing when the heck can we all meet each other again.

Later on a very good friend of mine is gonna leave me, I spend the whole afternoon and evening crying on his bolster without him knowing I was crying. But the tears and mucus made a big stain on is so bocor rahsia la.

Saying Good Bye to some one dear to you is the hardest thing ever. It hurts deep down. Knowing you will not see that person again for a very very long time or maybe forever.

Loosing a friend, is like loosing a part of yourself and your Jigsaw Puzzle cannot not be complete forever without that certain piece that is so important to you.

My College Life:
At 1st I couldn't mix with my classmates. I tried mix with the girls but they seems to have their own group and couldn't fit me in anymore.
I was a loner in class, I always sit alone or with random people. This is call anti-social.
I terus go back home right after class. I wont stay back to hang out with people.
So later on when all my close friends left me I started to mix with some friends in class.

My Course Mates:
Apparently I was the only girl in my group, I don't know why the gals hate me that time.
So I was always been pampered and treated like a Princess.
My friends really took care of me that time.
I am the one with all the adventurous ideas of doing crazy things, and they actually accompany me to do all of them.
I was so lonely during my 19th Birthday because I was stuck in kampar alone, but some of my course mates accompany me back to Ipoh to celebrate it. I was really touch that night.

My Working Life
I miss my work place where everyone needs everyone everyday.
We spend every single moment together in the work place.
Berpuasa together, Trolley Hunting, Breaking Eggs, Peeling Potatoes and Onions, Hiding in Chiller, Making Orders, Frying Omelette and Eggs, Speaking to Foreign Strangers.
Getting scolding from my Boss.
I miss being wanted all the time.
I miss Arab season where it was so busy I don't even have time to cry when i cut off 1/2 of my nail.
I miss Chef calling me Ah Moi all the time.
And Italian Papa shouting "Stephanie Ho!! Do not run in the kitchen" and Italian Mama call me "Lui Pao"

Yes, indeed I am a workaholic when I am in duty. I feel the pleasure in being wanted in my workplace, thats what make me secure. I don't feel useless that time even though I'm a clumsy pig which always cause trouble to my chefs.

My arm hurts, got a flu injection from Doctor today. I hate injections. Zzzzz
Burnt my hair just now while trying to do something stupid. Dun wanna mention it already.

I should have listen to people's advice where I did not. He and She warned me"Don't eat the stuff that just came out from the oven, it is bad for your throat"
Now serve me right for having a bad soar throat. Zzzzz

I guess thats in for today. The people that is going to renovate the house is here already.
Sien la everyday also damn noisy... Gonna hide myself in my room i guess....